Lucca's Birth Story | Our Peaceful Homebirth

Sunday February 9, 2020 (3 days past my due date) we woke up slowly to enjoy a laid back Sunday together. Andrew wasn’t scheduled to play drums at church so we decided to go to the 5:30pm service. Andrew spent the day working on the basement bathroom remodel he’s been doing on his own and I declared it a baking, knitting, and movie day. I made enough dough to make two loaves and set it aside to make that night.

I had had 2 previous evenings in the past few weeks that were filled with consistent, but not intensifying contractions. That night, I had another 1-2 hour spurt of light contractions 8 minutes apart that I knew was not true labor. For a moment I thought we would stay home from church to see if I could turn it into real labor by going on a walk, but we decided to go. On our way home I felt my mood shift. I was not in the mood to go eat, or even stop by the store on the way home. I just wanted to be home. Not because I thought I was in labor, but I just had a strong pull to be home. Andrew convinced me to let him run into Lowes and buy paint for the bathroom. When we got home, I put the bread in the oven and texted with my Mom, Dad, brother and sister about when the baby would come. Lots of guesses, but no one guessed it would be within a few hours. I said goodnight to them and laid down with Ollie to nurse him to sleep. I hadn’t nursed him for a few months but reintroduced him to nursing over the last week or two to see if nursing would help jumpstart labor. It did! A little after 9pm, stronger contractions started that were 2.5-3 minutes apart that seemed more intense than those I had been having before. I sat quietly in my room, realizing pregnancy would be ending soon, that this was the moment I had been waiting for, and that in just a few hours this would all just be a very sweet memory… I would have my baby in my arms.

After an hour, I told Andrew to come upstairs and let him know these were probably real. I turned on my playlist, lit candles, put lavender in the diffuser and got in the bath from about 10-11pm. Contractions slowed down to about 10 minutes apart. I doubted I could get real sleep between contractions, but I went to bed anyways. Surprisingly, I immediately started dreaming and got about an hour and a half of real sleep between contractions. At 12:30am I called my midwife Lauren to ask what signs I should be looking for before calling her to come. She reminded me that contractions 5 minutes apart-similarly to when we would leave for the hospital- was when I could call her and she would be on her way from Birmingham. At around 4am I had one contraction where I felt the baby move significantly, so I called Lauren and my mom to start driving my way. I sat on my birth ball and talked with Andrew about the day to come, as we looked at photos of Wilkes and Ollie when they were each only hours old. I hadn’t planned this, but looking at photos of my other babies was a wonderful visualization trick as I labored. Reminding myself, through photos, that I was about to feel that sort of love all over again made it real. (If you have another baby, I highly recommend having newborn photos of them within reach during labor!)

Lauren and my mom both arrived around 5am. A little after her arrival, Lauren’s assistant arrived. To my surprise, it was Allison, who had been my doula for Wilkes’ birth. It felt like such a sweet blessing to have her be apart of another birth and I teared up over the Lord’s thoughtfulness in having her there, too.

Lauren checked for dilation and let Andrew know I was at 5cm. As with the boys, I never want to know numbers but am happy to let Andrew know. I was 5-5.5cm both times we arrived at the hospital, so this was familiar.
Around 7am I was willing to get up and try walking around and walking up and down the basement stairs. From my bedroom, I could hear Ollie happily waking up and talking to my mom. I snuck past him without him seeing me and started walking the stairs with Andrew. He made me laugh as he coached me up and down the stairs. The one quote I remember him saying is “You don’t like comfort! You like babies!”, in a very coach-like voice. Haha! Nice one, Coach.

My dad stopped by on his way to work and offered to adjust me (he’s a Chiropractor), but I declined and instead just asked for a big Dad-size hug. I went back to walking up and down the stairs and could hear my house full of the voices of so many people I love. Wilkes was still sleeping at that point and I was so anxious for him to wake up. I think I asked every time I finished a set of stairs. Just before 8am, he finally woke up and we had the joy of telling him he was going to meet the baby soon. Andrew carried him in the room and sat him next to me while I laid down in the bed. “Guess what’s happening!” I said. He smiled the biggest smile and hugged me, speechless. He looked around the room, noticing the set-up and hugged me tighter. Then, in 4 year old fashion, he said he needed a drink and promptly left the room. I figured it would still be several hours, so we asked my mom to take the boys to an indoor playground since it was raining. Wilkes had wanted to be there for the birth so we planned to call them back when it was close.

A little after 8am, I got in the shower for about 30 minutes. In the shower, I realized I actually liked handling contractions alone. With my previous two births, I did all the things I had read about in unmedicated childbirth books: different labor positions, Andrew massaging my lower back in different ways, humming through contractions. With my first birth especially, I felt like I labored ‘by the book’ (although there’s no such thing, really). With this birth, probably partly because I was at home, partly because it was my third birth, I paid more attention to what I wanted to do, rather than what I felt like I was supposed to do. I surprised myself. I would have thought I’d prefer Andrew to be physically supporting me the entire time, like he had previously, but I realized that actually was a distraction for me. I was too distracted by the physical- by what he was doing (wrong or right). Without that, I was able to be more present and get into deep thought and prayer. Andrew sat nearby, reading a book and drinking coffee. His presence was enough and the fact that he felt calm enough to read a book made me feel even more at peace!

Out of the shower, I decided it was time for laughter, light-heartedness, and being around people. I had been mostly laboring in my room with only Andrew up until that point. All morning I could hear conversations happening outside my room and I honestly just wanted to be apart of them! I moved out to the living room and asked Andrew to turn something light on the TV. He turned on The Office, “Stress Relief” episode (one of the best episodes). Perfect! I never watch TV, so I wouldn’t have put “watch The Office” in my birth plan, but it somehow made it into this story. It played in the background as I talked with Lauren, Allison, and Andrew and fell asleep between a few contractions. This was my third birth to labor through the night, and each time, I, surprisingly, sleep between a few contractions.

My sister, Halli, popped in to say a quick hello and then go with the boys and my mom. Soon after, my friend, Shaina, arrived. Shaina is a labor & delivery nurse and was present at Wilkes’ birth. She texted me that morning and offered to come and agreed to photograph the birth since my friend Joanna wasn’t going to be able to. This is where the photos begin. It was around 9:30am.

The week before my due date, Wilkes, my four year old, had agreed to record encouraging scriptures for me. You can listen to the recording here. I played it several times throughout my labor. It is one of my most treasured gifts! His sweet four year old voice paired with the power and truth of the Words brought me to tears each time. I had chosen scripture that spoke to me during my pregnancy, but realized later they all fit into three categories: Protection, Restoration, and Light. These turn out to be the name meanings of each of our children. Wilkes means Protector. Ollie’s name, Oliver, symbolizes Restoration (the olive branch after the flood), and Lucca means Light. Throughout my pregnancy, I felt the Lord nudge me to just be in remembrance for what He’s already done. (If only you knew what He’s done!) There’s power in rememberance. I didn’t focus on anything more He could do for me. I remembered the faithfulness He’d already shown us. The Scripture reminded me of this.

I felt so much gratitude. I thanked God for each contraction. As each rose and fell, I thanked Him for yet another, because it meant my body was doing exactly what it was supposed to do. I had spent the morning writing a list of every miracle, every promise fulfilled and every tiny blessing I usually take for granted. In this moment, as I rested through contractions that were about 3-4 minutes apart, I went through these blessings in my mind. Every contraction, I said “Thank you” for a new thing. And especially for each contraction bringing me closer to my baby.

Something that makes me laugh is a visualization technique I unintentionally created while going through a few contractions as I was in transition. I come up with something unique each birth. With Ollie’s birth I remember saying in my mind “This is the Holy Spirit’s fire pushing the baby down” each time I had a contraction. Contractions have a warming sensation to them like all other physical activities- lifting weights, running, etc. So, I imagined it as a warm fire around my abdomen.

With this birth, I had a different vision. I laugh when I think of it. I wasn’t on my couch, in labor. Instead, I imagined myself paragliding over a valley in Switzerland (I had watched my sister paraglide in Switzerland two summers ago, so it was specific). I imagined myself flipping and twirling through the sky, which is why I was holding my breath. And the reason my abdomen felt tight was that my harness was tied tightly. Ha! Again, I wouldn’t have planned this, but it was great. I’ve talked to several friends since, and they all said they had similar interesting visualization techniques that were unplanned. Physically speaking, I focused on fully relaxing my body. I always describe labor as a very challenging workout. It’s not painful- it’s very challenging and very rewarding. While, mentally, I was in a place of gratitude and praise (and sometimes, Switzerland), physically, I focused on relaxing my body rather than holding any tension as a contraction flowed through me. I made it a goal to relax my body as if I was dead asleep. If there was any part of my body that held tension, (arms, legs, toes, eyebrows anything!) I made it a goal to release that tension the next contraction. (Although I didn’t play this during my labor, this type of practice is so helpful: look into this recording, by A Heavenly Welcome.)

Around this time, Lauren asked if I’d like to be checked again. She said I seemed to be handling contractions in about the same way I had been when they arrived. If they checked me and I hadn’t progressed much, we could try different things to help me progress. If I had progressed, we’d know we could just keep doing what we were doing. I agreed and they learned I was at 8cm. Again, I didn’t want to know, so I was clueless. She calmly told me I had progressed, so I was encouraged, but really doubted I was in transition yet. I knew the contractions were stronger, but I thought surely they would be more intense for it to be transition.

Andrew started suggesting we move back to the bedroom (knowing I was 8cm). I didn’t think it was necessary to move yet. I was comfortable. After a few minutes, he suggested again, adding that he called my mom and that Wilkes was on his way. When I heard Wilkes’ name, I was encouraged. Wilkes wanted to be present at the birth, so I knew this meant we were at least somewhat close, but as usual in my births, I thought everyone was overreacting and weren’t really as close as they thought. I’m always in denial.

At 10:20am, we walked back to the bedroom. I was only in the bed for a few minutes when I had the sudden urge to push. The urge to push feels a lot like needing to poop. (Didn’t want the word poop to be in my first blog post, but here we are!) With Wilkes’ birth, I remember that was a huge hang up for me, and prolonged pushing because I was afraid to push with all my might. Knowing that fear was standing in the way of me meeting my baby, I asked for something to cover myself and I pushed with all my might. Similar to Wilkes’ birth, my water had not broken yet. I felt the water bag first. I rested between contractions, listening to Lauren and Allison’s quiet encouragement. “You’re so close, Rylee.” The best words in the world. They whispered as they spoke to me. The room was peaceful and still. Nothing like the births you see in the movies. The world stood still. I pushed again and felt the baby’s head with my hand. I pushed with everything in me, and at 10:43am out came my baby, crying before his/her body was even fully in this world! Lauren handed me our baby and I was in disbelief.

This was the first time we waited to find out the gender and I could feel Andrew leaning in and anxious to know if we were parents to three sweet boys or if we were about to have our world rocked with a girl. “GIRL!”, I said sounding confident (though I continued to question my own judgement on that). Even though I didn’t think I had a guess one way or the other, I had apparently assumed we were having a boy because I couldn't believe it. I looked up at Andrew. He covered his face with his hands and had tears in his eyes, smiling from ear to ear. We laughed and looked at our baby girl. She looked a lot like her oldest brother. And just minutes after she was born, I heard the front door open and Wilkes cautiously walk down the hall, following the sound of a crying newborn baby. He had missed the birth by less than 5 minutes, but he was there in time to cut the cord, like I promised he could. We told my mom and sister to wait with him since we were waiting on the placenta. Soon, we welcomed everyone in to tell them it was a girl, just like Wilkes had been telling us since the beginning!
I had no tearing, and other than pressure, I felt nearly normal. I remember saying “That was really fun!” I would do it again and again if I could. As I held Lucca and nursed her for the first time, Wilkes played a song for her on his toy guitar. I mentioned I was thirsty to Andrew, and Wilkes immediately ran out, jumped on his scooter and flew down the hall to get a glass water for me. Throughout my pregnancy we talked about his role during the birth and that one of his jobs could be to get water for me if I was thirsty. When I mentioned needing water, he remembered that was his job and was proud to be of service!

Andrew got skin-to-skin time with Lucca while I went to the bathroom, changed clothes, and Lauren and Allison cleaned the room. During pregnancy, I wondered how messy home birth would be. To my surprise, once they tossed out the disposable bed pads and threw a few towels in the wash, the place was as good as new.

The rest of the day was so restful and sweet. My mom heated the mushroom/chicken broth I had in the fridge. It was so nourishing and a perfect first post-birth food. My mom brought me a plate of fruits, cheese, and nuts and we sliced up the bread I baked the night before. I was so happy to have more than a hospital menu to choose from! After snacking, Andrew and I took a nap while my mom held the baby and watched the boys in the living room. I woke up to new joyful voices in the living room. Andrew’s sweet parents came to visit and meet their first granddaughter (and first girl on their side for 50 years!). I was careful to rest and be still, but moved to the living room and kitchen to be apart of the conversations. We ended the night baking more bread I had left in the fridge from the night before. Going to sleep to the smell of fresh baked bread and waking to Andrew making me avocado toast (with a side of dark chocolate!) was just the icing on the cake for home birth.

I feel so incredibly grateful to have had this experience. As excited as I was to have a home birth, I wasn’t sure what it would look like or if I would end up wanting to go to the hospital once I was in labor, to be honest. But once labor started there was never even a thought about it. Even Andrew, who was hesitant about it, was actually more at peace during this birth than the other two. It felt so natural to be at home.
Truly the most ordinary, yet extraordinary, thing in the world.

Thank you to my midwife, Lauren, who always made me feel so heard and cared for at each prenatal appointment and at the birth itself. Thank you, Allison, for being apart of another one of my births and always being a wonderful, calming presence.

Thank you, Shaina, for photographing and holding my hand!

Thank you, Mom and Halli, for caring for my home and the boys.

Thank you, Andrew, for supporting me and my desire to have a home birth even though it was originally out of your comfort zone, and for the tender postpartum care you always give to me and our babies. You are my greatest gift!